Wednesday, February 01, 2012
some people collect stamps.
others coins, possibly dolls, comic books, or seashells.
but not me. i collect memories. hundreds upon hundreds of photographs, piles and boxes of moments, frozen and immortalized.
people do not understand why i have so many or why i refuse to throw any away.
it is because i cannot bear to forget.
they tell me the alzheimer's runs in the family. agonizing does not even begin to describe how it felt to watch helplessly as dad slipped away right before my eyes, every day losing a little more of himself.
i cannot help but think of him tonight on my sixtieth birthday. he was only fifty-eight. but he is still here in my glossy four by six memories.
and the reason i choose to surround myself with memories past is because i am scared to lose anyone else.
but even more than that, i am scared to lose myself.